This morning on the bus on the way to work, I was reading an article on Adoption in the February 08 Ensign (see
http://www.lds.org/). After reading the article by the birth mother, I felt prompted to contact LDS Family Services to see if I could donate some blankets & dogs to young women who choose to place their babies for adoption. My hope is that these items will provide some hope & comfort during a very difficult time during these young women's lives.
Last May my sister in law asked me to write a letter to a young woman she knew who was pregnant and trying to decide what to do. The following is the letter I wrote to this 16 year old girl:
I wanted to share how I have been blessed through adoption. First of all, I believe that you are at a critical crossroad and appreciate the decisions placed before you. I believe that the choices you make are very personal and best made as you counsel with the Lord and seek for his guidance. That being said, this has been my experience….
My husband & I have been blessed with 2 beautiful children through adoption. When I was in my mid 20’s and unmarried, I had a cyst rupture on my ovary and was informed I had endometriosis. When I inquired whether or not it would hinder my ability to get pregnant, I was told that I wouldn’t know until I tried.
I got married 3 months shy of my 27th birthday. I discussed my medical history with my soon to be husband and he assured me that should I be unable to conceive, adoption would be an option. However, I never really believed it would be necessary. I was a righteous young woman, why wouldn’t Heavenly Father bless me in conceiving children?
In our 2nd year of marriage, I was still not pregnant. I served in the Young Women’s program in our ward and was invited to attend a meeting. Not really knowing what it was, I went. There was a woman in her 20’s who spoke of the blessing of adoption. She told about the beautiful baby boy Heavenly Father saw fit to bless her and her husband with and shared her gratitude for this little boy and the birth mother. I was blown away by the spirit. It touched my heart & soul so deeply that I sat on the back row and cried uncontrollably. There was not a doubt in my mind when I left that meeting that I had felt the spirit and knew for sure that adoption is a way that our Heavenly Father could bless us with a child, a child that was intended to be in our family just as if he/she were born to us.
About 1 year later we moved to Arizona and went through the rigorous process of applying to adopt through LDS Social Services. It took almost a full year to complete the process. Now that we did what WE could do, it was up to our Heavenly Father to do His part. We waited.
My father died suddenly on May 15, 1993 at the age of 64. My husband & I headed for Utah to be with family and prepare his funeral.
While some of the details are a little foggy, within a few weeks after the death of my father, we received a call from our social worker asking some questions and telling us we were being considered as the adoptive parents a baby boy born May 22, exactly one week following my father’s death. We waited.
I had 2 step sons who arrived for the summer. We left for California on vacation. Several days into the trip, we received THE call “Judy, you are the mother to a beautiful baby boy.” Music to my ears and joy filled my heart. I felt an immense sense of gratitude to my Heavenly Father and reverence to the birth mother who had the courage and faith to make such a decision. What greater gift can one receive than a child? I felt truly humble that we were chosen.
We returned to Arizona and two days later met our baby boy for the first time. What a glorious day!
Three and a half years later we went through a similar experience, although this time, our Heavenly Father saw fit to bless us with a beautiful baby girl…born on my husbands birthday.
I can’t express enough love & gratitude for the birth parents of our children. They have blessed our lives and home beyond measure and gave me the opportunity to be a mother. I don’t take this responsibility lightly. Our son is nearly 16 and our daughter is 12. These are challenging years and I feel this tremendous responsibility to be the very best mother I can be. Our birth mothers chose US as parents for their babies because they believed we were in a better position to love and care for them than they were at the time. I do not want to let them down, or our Heavenly Father.
Our children have always known that they were adopted and loved by their birth mothers. They are important women in our lives and I hope to meet them again one day. I thank my Heavenly Father for the privilege of being a mother. I am grateful to have a wonderful husband who is a worthy priesthood holder who is committed to me and our family and with whom I can raise a family unto the Lord and work to live with eternally.
While I don’t know you personally, I appreciate the sacred responsibility you have over the coming days/months to ponder your path and choices for both you and your unborn child. I believe there are opportunities for growth in all our challenges. We can make difficult choices and rise to our full potential when we have faith in our Savior and seek for guidance.
God bless you as you move forward….
Judy
